The "Love" Swift Boat

KERRY DENIES PERFORMING GAY WEDDINGS ON SWIFT BOAT

One Million Anti-Kerry Boatmates March on Washington

Democratic nominee John Kerry today blasted a just-released attack ad in which a new group of swift boat veterans accuse him of performing hundreds of gay weddings on the boat he commanded during that conflict.

The ad, financed by a group calling itself Swift Boat Veterans For Truth About Gay Weddings On Swift Boats, accuses Sen. Kerry of using his status as commanding officer on his boat to perform gay weddings on an almost non-stop basis.

According to one veteran who appears in the ad, Mr. Kerry stunned his boatmates by announcing, “I hereby declare this swift boat ‘The Love Boat.’”

The veteran goes on to accuse Mr. Kerry of performing hundreds of gay weddings “whether the sailors wanted to marry each other or not.”

The latest charges come at a critical juncture for the Kerry campaign, as over one million anti-Kerry boatmates marched on Washington this weekend to express their unbridled hatred of the Democratic nominee.

But Sen. Kerry came out swinging against the ads today, telling a Michigan audience, “It would have been impossible for me to declare my swift boat ‘The Love Boat’ because ‘The Love Boat’ did not come on TV until 1977.”

Moments after Mr. Kerry’s comment, the airwaves were blanketed with a new ad financed by a group calling themselves Swift Boat Veterans For Truth About What John Kerry Claims Did Or Did Not Happen On His Swift Boat.

In the ad, a veteran states: “Okay, so maybe John Kerry didn’t perform any gay weddings, but it’s a lot like something he would have done if given half a chance.”

I found this humorous little gem on The Borowitz Report

Hope you enjoyed it!

SlagleRock Out!

Posted by SlagleRock at August 24, 2004 12:53 AM